Meat-eating escalators

We went to France and Bulgaria for spring break, otherwise known as Socha's first European tour. The trip was challenging and excellent, mostly in ways you might expect. Great to see old friends, challenging to pack all of the baby gear; excellent to eat Onda muffins, jet lag still sucks, especially with Socha. We'll post some photos of our trip with some other stories eventually, but what follows is a tale of an unexpected misadventure (though with me, I suppose misadventures are to be expected...).

Our friend Adam suggested the best way to get his apartment in Paris from Charles de Gaulle airport was a taxi, but that taxi would be 65 euro ($83 at current exchange rates, though I thought it was more at the time). 65 euro for a taxi? Hell no! We like trains! We're not afraid of public transit in Europe!  And I'm cheap!


The following unedited haikus were all written by me while waiting to be seen in "urgent care" at the 400 year-old hospital only a short metro ride (plus snowy walk) from Adam and Amanda's apartment in Paris. I do not speak French, and neither do Adam and Amanda.

Damn, i broke my foot
Purple blue swelling sore ouch
Escalator fail.

65 euros?
Too much for a taxi. But
Trains bring pain, waiting.

Waiting. With Drunks. With
smells. With the painful
Foot. Paris late at night.

Elevator out.
Escalator upheaval
Ground convulsed. Foot broke.

Train tix hard to buy
Train platforms hard with luggage
Fiasco of pain

Hosp blinds askew. No,
not askew. Wrathful attack.
But ER doc nice.

Went Ass over tea
Kettle Metro moving stairs.
Heroic paris.

Hours tick by with no
Urgency in urgent care.
Many stay unwell.

Why didn't i bring
My book? Smart phone sans service:
Expensive notepad.

Check'd into logan
24 hours ago. Awesome
Spring break with X-ray.

Adam waits in guest
Lounge. Jeff waits in patient lounge .
Bored sleepy it smells.

Socialized med
Is cheap.  Insurance should pay.
Hope i can walk soon.

Arming myself with
Patience, BG style. No one
Here to translate. Blerg.

want to keep my X-
rays as souvenirs. Better
Than eifel tower.

I just want an x
Ray. 5 minutes of urgent
Care time. Much longer?

Still smells like shit and
Disinfectant. Not enough
Cleaner, i am sure.

Socha treats jet lag
Like colic. Sudden Screaming
But now, happy too.

After midnight. Can we
Have an emergency now?
Want to go to sleep.

'This will make a great
Blog" is not much comfort
No video though.

How long should we stay?
Need sleep. Spring break in the balance.
Tomorrow Dijon.

1 hour metro plus
Walk in snow. 2 hours waiting.
Now NEAR  xray room.

Fell and could not get
Up. Escalator terror.
Parisian rescue.

Broke foot. Still had to
Haul 2 suitcases car seat
Up down up down out.

Friendly strangers help
Carry stroller and luggage.
Elevators good.

Estonian SIM card
Not activated. No call
No text. No entry.

No xray machine
In this room.  Why am i here?
Next to sick no more.

American hosp
Better I'm sure.  Better blog
Post Here, i suppose.

Have to pee. What day
is it? Why am in paris
Hospital? (Freedom!!!!!!)

Exam room or just
Solitary confinement?
Family sleeping.

Fuckity fuck fuck
Can we do this and get out
Of here? Pretty please?

1 am xray
Machine: 1962
No digital here.

[I wrote this one after arriving back in the US, but I'm including it because I liked it.]

Convulsing Meat Eater

Escalator Fiasco

Elevator please!

Notes: The x-rays showed I had only sprained my foot, not broken it. It turned all interesting shades of green and purple and got quite swollen over the next few days, but I more or less did all the things I wanted to do in Europe (no running). I went to the doctor back in the US today to confirm what the French doctors may or may not have told me (there was a bit of a language barrier), that I could basically walk as much as pain allowed. The one hour or so of sleep on the plane may have contributed to poor decision making that resulted in the escalator fiasco, and we were more frustrated by the "global" SIM card we bought for our phone that wasn't working for shit while we were trying to get to their apartment- we could receive frantic messages from Adam and Amanda, but not reply. We even got to their front door, exhausted, frazzled, and in pain, and couldn't call up to get inside because our phone didn't work and we didn't know which unit was theirs. Suck.   In the end no harm was done, and we had a great trip to Europe, but this was a rather inauspicious beginning. My x-rays are actually the only souvenirs we got in Paris.

I'll finish this by saying we took the taxi on the way back to the airport, and it was worth it.