The Head Bob

I don't speak Bulgarian. I have been trying to learn, but it is quite challenging for an English-speaker to pick up. Unfortunately, I'm not even familiar enough yet with my Lonely Planet phrasebook that I can easily turn to the right chapter for a quick sentence or two. In my limited experience in other countries where I did not speak the language, at least I could rely on gestures and body language to help get a point across. That is also more challenging here.

I walked out my door on this overcast Sunday afternoon to find a friendly old man picking apples from the tree near our villa. He ventured over to me, and we tried to chat. His name was Malko, he is 60-something, retired, lives about 1 km from school in the Mladost neighborhood (so much for the security gate around campus!), and has a few grown children, and at least a few grandchildren. I managed to get across that I was from the US, had a wife but not children, a sister, a brother, and was 31 years old. That exchange of information took a long, long time, with many hand gestures and much reference to the phrasebook. It would have been less frustrating if I didn't keep interpreting his ayes for nayes and vice versa.

As far as I can tell, Bulgaria is one of the only countries in the world (only?) that reverses the american style of "shake head up & down = yes, side-to-side = no." But it's not just a reversal...it's more complex than that. Sometimes a "yes" gesture here is a simple side-to-side (once), so that if you order in a restaurant, and the waiter is indicating "OK, I got your order" my first instinct is to assume they're saying "NO" because I've ordered incorrectly, or they are out of that item. It doesn't help that they rarely use concurrent facial language such as a smile/frown that could indicate what they mean with the nod.

Other times, the "yes" nod is more of a Bollywood head bobble. That is at least distinctive enough that I don't think they're saying "NO" American style. The "No" is a straightforward up & down nod, just like our "yes." As I struggle to grasp tidbits of what they are saying to me in Bulgarian (I need to remember how to say "please speak more slowy," and "Could you repeat that please?), I invariably smile and nod my head up and down when I think I understand, which invariably makes them think I do NOT understand.
To confuse matters further, Bulgarians that speak some English or are more familiar with other cultures will sometimes try to use the non-Bulgarian method of head nod, to make it easier for us. So even if I remember what is "normal," I'm not totally sure if they are doing the American style or the Bulgarian style.

Oy!

I'll figure this out, eventually, but until then, I may have to wear a neck brack around town just to prevent any incorrect head gestures!