Dear Chase MasterCard

I LIVE IN BULGARIA! That is in Europe. So when I make a purchase in "Austria????" that is not as ridiculous as you think, especially because I have told you on a monthly basis for the last year that I LIVE IN BULGARIA, and Bulgaria is Europe. So when your fraud detection shuts off my card because I bought gasoline in "Croatia????", that's not even as far as when I drove my car from Montana to Denver. It seems far, because it's Europe, but it's not, because I live there. Here, actually. I live in Europe.
Do you remember last month, when I told you "I LIVE IN EUROPE," and you very politely (thanks for that, by the way) told me that this time, you've really made a note in my account? Do you remember that? Because it was kind of like the month before. And kind of like last August. And last September. And last November. Quite a bit like last December, in fact. Vaguely similar to January and February too. I appreciate that your employees are polite, because we chat more than I do with most of my family.  I hope your computer system has room for a lot of notes. Lots of notes in there.

Also, I think it is pretty neat when your fraud detection system decides that a purchase I made in Austria was clearly fraudulent, so it locks down the card. (You've gotten pretty good at doing that.) It's extra helpful that you don't tell me you've done this, because it makes a fun detective game on a Friday night trying to figure out why I can't buy something this time.  You earn high marks for cleverness, by the way, by also keeping this a secret from your first-level call center representatives (who are polite, by the way). They are definitely not to be trusted. Sure, they can take the hold off my account for the purchase I just tried to make, but they too will be surprised when even after they've "fixed" it, the card still doesn't work, because you've placed the card on triple-secret probation. That's very secure, so thanks for that. 
Just to keep things interesting, I appreciate how your fraud detection system didn't have a problem with me buying gas in Tirana, Albania (nothing weird about that), but CROATIA? Someone surely stole my card! And what diligence: good on you for not believing me when I called you after the fact and verified that it was in fact, me buying gas in Croatia. Surely any crook could call your fraud center and know my social security number, ZIP code, date of birth, and mother's maiden name. I couldn't trick you guys -- so you made me also respond to an email the next day.  If there's anywhere short of Fort Knox that's secure, it is certainly my Yahoo email account. No thieves or Nigerian Lottery winners allowed.
If I were allowed to buy anything with my Chase mastercard, I'd use it to send you a thank-you present as a token of my appreciation.  I'd buy you a map to hang on your call-center wall, and circle Bulgaria. Maybe I'd even circle Europe, because that's where I live.
Thanks.
-Guy living in Bulgaria